"The X-Files" (TM) and (C) Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation.
This is an UNOFFICIAL transcript to be used for commentary and criticism purposes ONLY.
3x12 War of the Coprophages
MILLER'S GROVE, MASSACHUSETTS
Exterminator: Behold the mighty cockroach. Believed to have
originated in the silurian period, over 350 millions years ago.
They can be found in every part of the world, from the tropics to
the arctic. There exists 4,000 known species, and in a year, a
single female can produce over half a million descendants.
Radiation doesn't kill them. By evolutionary standards, they are
nearly flawless creatures. But, creatures nevertheless. Possessing
only a simple nervous system, their behavior is dictated solely by
responses to environmental stimuli. Unlike us, they are incapable
of thought, of self-illumination. Compared to the roach, we are
gods, and must therefore, act accordingly.
[steps over it]
Eckerle: Is it true that if you decapitate them, they continue to
live? Eventually dying of starvation?
Exterminator: Look, buddy, I just kill them.
Eckerle: Well, that's why I called you. I thought that nowadays you
froze the insects to death.
Exterminator: Freeze them? Where's the fun in that? No, we got a
new pesticide that works like a fungus. It not only kills the
infected roach,but that roach then spreads the disease to every
other roach it comes into contact with.
Eckerle: Just as long as you get rid of them. Bugs... they drive me
crazy.
Exterminator: Why, you arrogant little...
Eckerle: I forgot to tell you, I also found a roach on the...
[opening credits]
Mulder: Mulder.
Scully: Mulder, where have you been? I've been trying to reach you
all day.
Mulder: My apartment complex was being fumigated, so I thought I'd
get away for the weekend. I came up to Massachusetts.
Scully: Visiting your mother?
Mulder: No, just sitting and thinking. Widespread accounts of
unidentified colored lights hovering in the skies were reported in
this area last night. Look, Scully, I know it's not your
inclination, but did you ever look up into the night sky and feel
certain that not only was something up there, but it was looking
down on you at that exact same moment, and was just as curious
about you as you are about it?
Scully: Mulder, I think the only thing more fortuitous than the
emergence of life on this planet is that through purely random laws
of biological evolution, an intelligence as complex as ours ever
emanated from it. The very idea of intelligent alien life is not
only astronomically improbable, but at its most basic level,
downright anti-darwinian.
Mulder: Scully, what are you wearing? I understand what you're
saying, but I just need to keep looking.
Scully: Yeah, well. Don't look too hard. You might not like what
you find.
Mulder: Isn't that what Dr. Zaius said to Charlton Heston at the
end of Planet of the Apes?
Scully: And look what happened.
Mulder: Scully, I gotta to go.
Scully: Mulder, what's going on? Mulder?
Sheriff: How you doing? What are you doing?
Mulder: Sitting, thinking.
Sheriff: Sitting and thinking? And talking on the phone? Who with,
your drug dealer? Let me see some ID. The bureau? You on a case?
Mulder: I heard reports of UFO sightings here last night. You see
anything?
Sheriff: No, sir, not personally. But we did receive a lot of
telephone calls.
Mulder: Any more calls tonight?
Sheriff: No, sir. The FBI keeps tabs these things?
Mulder: No.
Sheriff: Excuse me, sir, I don't like to pry, but why are you
sitting here with your wiper blades on?
Mulder: I was just knocking off some bugs that landed on my...
[sheriff goes for his gun] landed on my windshield.
Sheriff: Cockroaches?
Mulder: Maybe. Maybe beetles. I donşt know. I'm not really good
with bugs.
Sheriff: Sorry to disturb you, sir.
Mulder: What's the matter?
Sheriff: Another roach attack.
Scully: Hello.
Mulder: I think you better get up here.
Scully: What is it?
Mulder: It appears that cockroaches are mortally attacking people.
Scully: I'm not gonna ask you if you just said what I think you
said, because I know it's what you just said.
Mulder: I'm crouching over a bug exterminator whose recently
deceased body was discovered with cockroaches crawling all over
him. The local sheriff says two other bodies were found in the same
condition this afternoon.
Scully: Where are you, again?
Mulder: Miller's Grove. It has a large science constituency. The
other incidents involved a molecular biologist and an
astrophysicist, and the witness to this case is an alternative fuel
researcher. These reports are not coming from yahoos out in the
boondocks.
Eckerle: The images of those cockroaches has been permanently imprinted
onto my brain. I see them every time I close my eyes.
Sheriff: Try not to close your eyes.
Eckerle: How am I going to sleep? And where? I'm certainly not spending
the night here.
Sheriff: Maybe you could get a motel room or something.
Scully: Were there insect bites on the body?
Mulder: Insect bites? No.
Scully: Mulder, millions of people are actually allergic to
cockroaches. There have been reported cases of fatal reactions.
It's called anaphylactic shock.
Mulder: Anaphylactic shock?
Scully: Many such reactions have occurred to entomologists or
exterminators.
Mulder: Okay, we'll check that out.
Scully: You still want me to come up?
Mulder: No, no, no, I'm sure you're right. Thanks, Scully.
Sheriff: Who was that?
Mulder: My drug dealer.
Dude 1: Dude, that's some good crap. Come on, it's your hoot.
Dudette: I don't know about this, you guys.
Dude 2: You really ought to, you know. Try it. This stuff takes
your mind, and just sort of, you know, expands it.
Dudette: Yeah, well. Something tells me it's more than my mind you
guys are interested in expanding.
Dude 1: Well, how about another beer then?
Dudette: Okay.
Dude 2: I don't know. I think you're making a mistake here. Beer is
just, you know, beer. But this stuff--it, like... Swings the doors
of perception so wide open you can see a whole another world out
there. But it's still like this world, you know. It tweaks your
mind and does this whole altered state thing to it. And suddenly
you see reality as it... you know, really exists. Oh, god!
Dude 1: What's wrong, man?
Dude 2: Oh, god!
Dude 1: Dude, what's wrong, man?
Dude 2: Oh God! Roaches!
Dude 1: Dude, you're freaking, man.
Dude 2: Roaches! Cockroaches! Get them out of me!
Dudette: Stop it!
Dude 1: Get them out of me!
Scully: [to Queequeg] Stay. [phone] Hello.
Mulder: I take it back, Scully. I think you better get up here.
Scully: Another roach attack?
Mulder: Yeah, and this was no allergic reaction. Two witnesses
claim they saw the victim screaming about cockroaches burrowing
into him.
Scully: Are there insects in the body?
Mulder: We haven't located any, but there are wounds all over the
body.
Scully: From the cockroaches?
Mulder: Well... the victim attempted to extract the insects using
a razor blade, but we're not sure all of the incisions are
self-inflicted, except for the severed artery.
Scully: Was there any evidence of drug use at the crime scene?
Mulder: He did have a homemade lab set up. I'm not sure what he was
producing. Ah! It smells like a septic tank. Would you make sure
this gets analyzed?
Scully: You know, Mulder, there's a psychotic disorder associated
with some forms of drug abuse, where the abuser suffers from
delusions that insects are infesting their epidermis. It's called
ekbom's syndrome.
Mulder: Ekbom's syndrome?
Scully: The victim cuts himself in an attempt to extract the
imaginary insect. Still want me to come up?
Mulder: No. You're probably right. I'm sorry to bother you.
Scully: It's no bother. Bye. [to Queequeg] Hey!
Sheriff: These kids are brain-dead. I couldn't get anything out of
them.
Mulder: How about some urine? For a drug test.
[catches a cockroach]
Sheriff: Did you get it?
Mulder: Get me a container. I think I killed it.
Sheriff: Killed it? I think you annihilated it.
Mulder: It must have molted. It's just empty exoskeleton.
Sheriff: Well, at least we have evidence that cockroaches were
actually here.
Mulder: We've got more than that, sheriff. I think that bug's
exoskeleton was made of metal.
Dr: Nothing more than a skin abrasion.
Mulder: An abrasion caused by a metallic substance?
Dr: Why don't we wait until the, uh, analysis of the compound is
finished before jumping to any conclusions. Agent Mulder, as a
doctor I always find it best to be completely honest and open with
my patients, no matter how unpleasant the information.
Mulder: What do you need to tell me?
Dr: No. I need you to tell me something. What the hell is going on
here? Are we in any danger?
Mulder: I don't know.
Dr: Should I evacuate my family?
Mulder: I wouldn't know.
Sheriff: Doctor, they're waiting for you to examine the boy's body.
Dr: Yeah. Soon as I take a little break. After talking with agent
Mulder here, I suddenly feel slightly constipated.
Sheriff: What's his problem?
Mulder: He's upset that I don't know what's going on here.
Sheriff: So what the hell is going on here?
Mulder: See, the correlation... just because I work for the federal
government doesn't mean I'm an expert on cockroaches.
Sheriff: So you're saying you don't know anything about the
government's experiments being conducted here?
Mulder: Experiments?
Sheriff: A couple months ago an agent claiming to be from the
Department of Agriculture sets up base across town. Nobody knows
exactly what's going on there. It's top secret, very hush-hush.
Mulder: What are you suggesting?
Sheriff: Killer bees were a genetic experiment gone awry--let loose
on an unsuspecting populace. Who's to say the government hasn't
created a new breed of killer cockroaches?
Mulder: You might want keep that theory to yourself. No need to
create a panic.
Man: Oh, my god! Help, somebody help me!
Sheriff: What the hell happened?
Man: Cockroaches--he was covered in cockroaches.
Sheriff: I don't see any roaches.
Man: Well, when I went out to look for help and I came back, they
disappeared.
Sheriff: Gently... Gently.
Mulder: Hmm... Doesn't appear odd in any...
Sheriff: Next time let me handle the roaches.
Scully: Who died now?
Mulder: The medical examiner. His body was found next to a toilet,
covered with roaches. I really think you should come...
Scully: A toilet? Check his eyes. Is one of them bloodshot, with a
dilated pupil?
Mulder: Yeah.
Scully: It's probably a brain aneurism.
Mulder: Brain aneurism?
Scully: Straining too forcefully is very common causation for
bursting a brain aneurism.
Mulder: How do you explain the roaches, though?
Scully: Did you catch any?
Mulder: Almost.
Scully: I don't know what to tell you, Mulder. I just hope you're
not implying you've come across an infestation of killer
cockroaches.
NO TRESPASSING
PROPERTY OF THE UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF AGRICULTURE
Mulder: Mulder.
Scully: Mulder, I've been doing some research. Back in the
mid-'80s, there was a cockroach species previously only found in
Asia. Since then, it's made an appearance in Florida. They've now
completely established themselves in this country.
Mulder: Do they attack people?
Scully: No, but they do behave differently than our domestic
breeds--they fly for long distances and are attracted to light.
Mulder: But do they attack people?
Scully: I'm suggesting that what's happening up there might be the
introduction to this country of a new species of cockroach--one
that is attracted to people.
Mulder: That all makes perfect sense, Scully. I don't like it at
all. Did you know that the federal government--under the guise of
the Department of Agriculture--has been conducting secret
experiments up here?
Scully: Mulder, you're not thinking about trespassing onto
government property again, are you? I know that you've done it
before, but I don't think this case warrants...
Mulder: It's too late. I'm already inside.
Scully: Well, what's going on? What do you see?
Mulder: I'm in a house. It's apparently empty.
Scully: What does the place look like?
Mulder: It's a typical two-story suburban house. Nice big living
room, sparsely furnished. Nice carpets... fireplace... a nice
kitchen. Modern appliances. Moving walls.
Scully: Moving walls?
Mulder: Yeah. They're rippling. Oh! Cockroaches.
Scully: What?!
Mulder: Cockroaches. They're everywhere. I'm surrounded.
Scully: Mulder, you've got to get out of there right now.
Mulder: Ah!
Scully: Are you all right? What happened?
Mulder: Flashlight went out.
Scully: Mulder, what's going on?
Mulder: Got to go.
Scully: Mulder. Mulder!
Bambi: May I ask why you're trespassing on government property?
Mulder: I'm a federal agent.
Bambi: So am I.
Agent Mulder, FBI.
Bambi: Dr. Berenbm, USDA Agricultural Research Service.
Mulder: Doctor Berebm, I'm gonna have to ask you a few questions.
Bambi: For instance?
Mulder: What's a woman like you doing in a place like this?
Bambi: By studying how insects respond to changes in light,
temperature, air currents, food availability, we can determine the
best ways to eradicate them.
Mulder: Why all the secrecy about your research? You've got some of
the good towns people suspicious.
Bambi: You expect us to advertise that we've intentionally infested
a house in their neighborhood with thousands of cockroaches?
Mulder: But... those cockroaches, are they a normal species?
Bambi: They're a common one.
Mulder: Have you ever come across a type of cockroach that is
attracted to people?
Bambi: Most cockroaches have been known to actually wash themselves
after being touched by humans.
Mulder: Really. So you've never seen an instance where a cockroach
actually attacks a human being?
Bambi: Well, there have been cases where cockroaches crawled into
a person's ear, nose.
Mulder: Nose? What is that there?
Bambi: Oh, it's just a pet project of mine. Since an insect's
exoskeleton is a dielectric surrounding the conductive medium of
its body fluid, when introduced into an electrical field, the brush
discharge will result in a colored flare.
Mulder: What is that supposed to prove?
Bambi: It's my theory that UFOs are actually insect swarms. I don't
know if you know anything about UFOs, but all the characteristics
of a typical sighting are shared with nocturnal insects swarming
through an electrical air field. The sudden appearance of a
colored, glowing light hovering in the night sky, moving in a
nonmechanical manner, possibly humming, creating interference with
radio and television signals, then suddenly disappearing.
Mulder: As nocturnal insect swarms. It's uh... it's fascinating.
Bambi: Everything about insects is fascinating. They are truly
remarkable creatures. So beautiful, and so honest.
Mulder: Honest?
Bambi: Eat, sleep, defecate, procreate. That's all they do. That's
all we do, but at least insects don't kid themselves that it's
anything more than that. Does my scientific detachment disturb you?
Mulder: No. Actually, I find it quite refreshing. [phone rings] Not
now. [hangs up] You know, um... I have always found insects to be
very interesting.
Bambi: Really?
Newswoman: This is the fifth report of a deceased body being found
amongst a horde of cockroaches, but police are not confirming--at
least not yet--that the insects have anything to do with the
fatalities. Police have also disaffirmed the rumor that these
deaths were the results from an outbreak of the ebola virus somehow
being spread by infected cockroaches. As for now, these incidents
remain under local jurisdiction, but a nurse here did confirm that
an FBI agent is on the case. Police are asking that if you see any
cockroaches, don't panic. Simply notify the local authorities and
evacuate the area immediately.
TV: Then suddenly there was this terrible crash. I mean, you
could've been killed.
Scully: Mulder, are you okay?
Mulder: I can't sleep.
Scully: What happened at the USDA site?
Mulder: They're conducting legitimate experiments. I met an
entomologist, a Dr. Berenbaum, who agrees with your theory of an
accidental importation of a new cockroach species.
Scully: Did he give you any idea of how to catch them?
Mulder: No, but she did tell me everything else there is to know
about insects.
Scully: She?
Mulder: Yeah. Did you know that the ancient Egyptians worshipped
the scarab beetle and possibly erected the pyramids to honor them,
which may just be giant symbolic dung heaps?
Scully: Did you know the inventor of the flush toilet was named
Thomas Crapper?
Mulder: Bambi also has this theory I've never come across...
Scully: Who?
Mulder: Dr. Berenbaum. Anyway, her theory is...
Scully: Her name is Bambi?
Mulder: Yeah. Both her parents were naturalists. Her theory is that
UFOs are actually nocturnal insect swarms passing through
electrical air fields.
Scully: Her name is Bambi?
Mulder: Scully, can I confess something to you?
Scully: Yeah, sure. Okay.
Mulder: I hate insects.
Scully: You know, lots of people are afraid of insects, Mulder.
It's just, uh... it's a natural, instinctive...
Mulder: No, no, no. I'm not afraid of them. I hate them. One day,
back when I was a kid I was, uh I was climbing this tree when I
noticed this leaf walking towards me. It took me forever to realize
that it wasn't a leaf.
Scully: A praying mantis?
Mulder: Yeah. I had a praying mantis epiphany, and as a result I
screamed--not a girly scream, but the scream of someone being
confronted by some before-unknown monster that had no right
existing on the same planet I inhabited. Did you ever notice how a
praying mant's head resembles an alien's head? The mysteries of the
natural world were revealed to me that day, but instead of being
astounded I was... repulsed.
Scully: Mulder, are you sure it wasn't a girly scream? [scream]
What was that?
Mulder: Oh, I got to go.
Scully: Mul... No...
Eckerle: Did you hear that, too?
Man 1: It came from over here.
Man 2: What the hell is going on?
Eckerle: Hello? Is everything all right in there?
Scully: What happened this time?
Mulder: One of the motel guests died.
Scully: Mulder, I'm coming up there right now.
Mulder: Scully, I think this man died simply from a reaction to the
cockroaches.
Scully: Two cases of anaphylactic shock in the same day in the same
town is highly improbable.
Mulder: No, I'm saying that I think this man simply had a heart
attack. Word about the cockroach infestion and the deaths related
to it has gotten out, and I think this man simply saw some
cockroaches and scared himself to death.
Scully: Regardless, Mulder, something strange is definitely going
on up there.
Mulder: Maybe not. Your conjectures have proved correct. The
exterminator did die from anaphylactic shock. The teenage boy did
die from self-inflicted wounds, and was getting high off methane
fumes derived from burning manure. The medical examiner did die
from a brain aneurysm.
Scully: I still haven't been able to explain the cockroaches at all
those sites.
Mulder: Or the fact that their exoskeletons are made of metal.
Sculy: Metal? What are you talking about? Mulder? Mulder, I'm
coming up there.
Mulder: Whatever.
Mulder: Can you tell what kind of cockroach it is?
Bambi: I should be able to--the abdomen is still attached, and we
differentiate species by their genitalia. Oh, my god.
Mulder: Is it abnormal?
Bambi: I'll say. He's hung like a club-tailed dragonfly. Excuse me.
Mulder: Does it still look unusual?
Bambi: Well, yes, for an insect genitalia, but maybe not for a
micro-processor.
Mulder: You're implying that this is mechanical? What am I supposed
to be looking at here? Have you ever seen anything like this
before?
Bambi: Only in science journals. I've read about an artificial
intelligence researcher who designs robots that resemble and behave
like insects. I've never seen them myself but I've often thought of
visiting his lab.
Mulder: He works out of this town?
MASSACHUSETTS INSTITUTE OF ROBOTICS
Mulder: Dr. Ivanov?
Ivanov: Why are you scaring my robots? For decades, my colleagues
in artificial intelligence have attempted to create an autonomous
robot. By struggling to give their machines a human-like brain,
they have failed. A human brain is too complex, too computational.
It thinks too much. But insects merely react. I used insects as my
model, not just in design, but by giving them the simplest of
computer programs--"go to the object. Go away from the object."
Governed only by sensors and reflex responses they take on the
behavior of intelligent, living beings.
Mulder: So this one is just programmed to just head towards any
object moving within the field of its sensors?
Ivanov: No.
Mulder: Then why is it following me?
Ivanov: It likes you.
Mulder: Your contract is with NASA?
Ivanov: The goal is to transport a fleet of robots to another
planet and allow them to navigate the terrain with more intricacy
than any space probe has done before. It sounds slightly fantastic,
but the only obstacle I can foresee is devising a renewable energy
source. In any case, this is the future of space exploration. It
does not include living entities.
Mulder: I'm just speculating here, but if extraterrestrial
life-forms do exist...
Ivanov: Oh, to need for speculation. I believe they do.
Mulder: Assuming that they're technologically advanced than we are,
and your ideas about the future of space exploration are correct...
Ivanov: Then the interplanetary explorers of alien civilizations
will likely be mechanical in nature. Yes. Anyone who thinks alien
visitation will come not in the form of robots, but of living
beings with big eyes and gray skin has been brainwashed by too much
science fiction.
Mulder: Can you identify this?
Ivanov: I'm not really good with bugs. A cricket's leg?
Mulder: Try it under the microscope. Are you all right, Dr. Ivanov?
Can you identify that? Sir?
Ivanov: It's... beyond my comprehension.
Man: What, you crazy?!
Woman: You idiot!
Scully: Excuse me, do you sell road maps? Could you tell me where
they are?
Woman: Come on. Hurry up.
Scully: What's going on here?
Woman: Haven't you heard that the roaches? They are devouring
people whole. Everybody's getting out of here.
Scully: Have you seen any cockroaches yourself?
Woman: No, but they're everywhere.
Man: Roaches aren't attacking people, lady. They're spreading the
ebola virus. Look, keep the change. We're all going to be bleeding
from our nipples.
Scully: All right. All right, listen up! I'm agent Dana Scully from
the Federal Bureau of Investigation. I am assuring you that you are
not in any danger. Everything is going to be ok if you just calm
down, and start acting rationally. Now, where the hell are those
road maps?
Woman: Hey! This last can is mine!
Man: Roaches!
Mulder: Oh, doctor, I, uh... I appreciate you taking the time to
answer my questions.
Ivanov: Yeah.
Mulder [to cockroach]: Greetings from planet earth.
Bambi: Well, it's a cockroach, all right. It's not like the leg
segment you had me examined earlier. It's just a typical cockroach.
Mulder: Even the..?
Bambi: Yes, even the genitalia is normal. Cockroaches are common in
this area this time of year. It's one of the reasons I set up my
study here.
Mulder: Mulder.
Scully: Mulder, this town is insane.
Mulder: Where are you?
Scully: I'm at a convenience store on the outskirts of...
civilization. Look, I think I may have a lead. Look, I think I may
have a lead. Remember that doctor Eckerle who was the alternative
fuel researcher that witnessed the exterminator's death? Well, the
fuel that he's researching is methane gas. Methane derived from
manure.
Mulder: Manure?
Scully: He has an import license to bring in animal dung samples
from outside the country. Now, maybe you can confirm this with your
Dr. Bambi, but I think that cockroaches are dung eaters, and if so,
some of them may have been shipped accidentally in some of the
samples. This fuel research facility could be ground zero for the
infestation.
Mulder: Scully, if an alien civilization were technologically
advanced enough to build and send artificially intelligent robotic
probes to the farthest reaches of space, might they not have also
been able to perfect the extraction of methane fuel from manure, an
abundant and replenishing energy source on a planet filled with
dung-producing creatures?
Scully: Mulder, I think you've been in this town too long.
Mulder: Where's the research facility located?
ALT-FUELS INC.
WASTE IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE
Mulder: Bambi, you better wait here until I make sure it's safe.
Bambi: Be careful. We still don't know what these cockroaches are
capable of... if they're even cockroaches.
Mulder: I'm not so much worried about the roaches as I am about the
human element.
Mulder: Dr. Eckerle?
Eckerle: They're after me. First at my house, then at the motel,
and then I came here to get away, but... they're following me.
Mulder: These insects won't harm you.
Eckerle: I've seen them kill two men.
Mulder: They weren't responsible for those deaths, but they might
be responsible for ours if you continue firing your gun in a plant
full of methane gas.
Eckerle: Don't you understand? The bugs... they drive me crazy.
Scully: Let me guess--Bambi.
Bambi: Fox told me to wait out here while he checked inside first.
Should I come along with you?
Scully: No. This is no place for an entomologist.
Eckerle: Why are these roaches making those weird noises?
Mulder: In Madagascar, they have roaches that hiss by blowing
through holes in their upper thorax.
Eckerle: Really? How do you know so much about them?
Mulder: I don't. That's why we shouldn't kill these, but capture
them for further study. Now please, put the gun down.
Eckerle: Have I lost my mind?
Mulder: No. You've just had a very stressful day that's affected
your ability to think clearly. Your judgment is a little clouded
right now.
Eckerle: It is? Then how do I know that you're not a cockroach?
Scully: Mulder? Mulder?
Mulder: I assure you, Dr. Eckerle, I'm just just as human as you
are, if not more so.
Eckerle: You are one of them!
Mulder: Get out, Scully! This whole place could blow. Get down!
Crap.
Sheriff: It's like a crematorium in there. I don't think we're
going to locate the doctor's remains.
Mulder: Or anything else, for that matter.
Sheriff: It's not as bad as some of the other fires we had last
night.
Scully: There were others?
Sheriff: Four, to be exact. Plus 18 automobile accidents, 13
assault and batteries, two stores were looted, 36 injuries all
total. Half of them from insecticide poisoning, but we didn't
receive any reports on cockroaches or otherwise for the last couple
hours. Maybe this town's finally come to its senses. You two ought
to go home and get some rest. You look pooped.
Ivanov: Agent Mulder? They told me I could locate you here. Those,
uh, segments you showed me earlier--may I examine them again?
Mulder: Well, they're completely desiccated... Just like the molted
exoskeleton.
Bambi: You know, many insects don't develop wings until their last
molting stage. Perhaps whatever these things were, they've had
their final molt and have flown off back to wherever they
originated.
Scully: Yeah, that would explain everything.
Ivanov: May I borrow this, agent Mulder, for further study?
Mulder: I've already had a similar sample analyzed. It's nothing
but common metals. What do you hope to find from it?
Bambi: His destiny.
Ivanov: Isn't that what Dr. Zaius said to zira at the end of the
planet of the apes?
Bambi: It's one of my favorite movies.
Ivanov: Mine too. I love science fiction.
Bambi: I'm also fascinated by your research. Have you ever
considered programming your robots to mimic the behavior of social
insects like ants or bees?
Ivanov: As a matter of fact, I have.
Bambi: You know, I read in november of '94 in, Entomology
Extreme...
Ivanov: Oh, I remember that.
Bambi: Your article about the pollinization of...
Ivanov: Yes, I really enoyed...
Scully: Smart is sexy. Think of it this way, Mulder. By the time
there's another invasion of artificially intelligent dung-eating
robotic probes from outer space, maybe their uber children will
have devised a way to save our planet.
Mulder: You know, I never thought I'd say this to you, Scully...
but you smell bad.
Mulder: The development of our cerebral cortex has been the
greatest achievement of the evolutionary processes. Big deal. While
allowing us the thrills of intellect and the pangs of
self-consciousness it is all too often overruled by our inner,
instinctive brain, the one that tells us to react, not reflect, to
run rather than ruminate. Maybe we have gone as far as we can go,
and the next advance, whatever that may be will be made by beings
we create ourselves using our own tech... tech... technology--
Life-forms we can design and program not to be ultimately governed
and constricted by the rules of survival. Or perhaps that step
forward has already been achieved on another planet by organisms
that had a billion years head start on us. If these beings ever
visited us, would we recognize what we were seeing? And upon
catching sight of us, would they react in anything but horror at
seeing such mindless, primitive, hideous creatures?
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